healer

Healer
by Kari Jobe

You hold my every moment
You calm my raging seas
You walk with me through fire
You heal all my disease
I trust in You, I trust in You

I believe You're my healer
I believe You are all I need
I believe

I believe You're my portion
I believe You're more than enough for me
Jesus You're all I need ...

Nothing is impossible for You
Nothing is impossible
Nothing is impossible for You
You hold my world in Your hands

I believe You're my healer
I believe You are all I need
Oh, yes You are, yes You are

I've been singing this song over Luke since he was born.
Praying these lyrics over him, holding his foot and begging God to come in and change this.
Rescue him.  Heal him.

We had an appointment with our orthopod on Tuesday.  Luke had x-rays taken for the first time since birth.  The x-rays showed slight improvement.  The bone is just a tiny bit straighter than it used to be.  It is still very crooked.  The doc said that this is exactly where he thought that Luke would be at four months.  He was neither disappointed or elated by the progress. 

Our doc is quick to remind us that "this is a marathon, not a sprint."
It will be a long road and we will continue with splinting and therapy.
Luke will have surgery at least once before it's all over. 

To be honest, I left the appointment feeling fairly content.  Happy with the news.
But there is still something inside of me that wants more.

I want it healed now.  I want to be done.  I want this to be over.

We prayed over Luke's leg at camp.
We begged for healing, cried out for mercy, anointed with oil.
And when we were done, Luke's leg was still crooked.  And I was so disappointed. 

But I am reminded again, by a sweet friend and by the whisper in my heart...

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.
As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.  Isaiah 55:8


Lord, make me content only in You and Your ways.  I will continue to ask for healing.  I will beg you until it is done, God.  Fix his leg!  I will not stop asking.  I will believe.  And in the meantime, I will love You, I will love Your ways, and I will love the little man you gave me.  Just the way he is.