Wednesday, June 22, 2011

today, i am thankful

Today, I am thankful for a sink full of dirty dishes.
Because they remind me that we had such a good time last night - hanging out with the girls, drinking margaritas, and eating delicious dinner.

Today, I am thankful for the muddy paw prints that Daisy left on my wood floors.
Because they remind me that it is raining outside for the first time in so long.  The dust has turned to mud, and the grass already looks greener.

Today, I am thankful for all the toys and baby things that clutter the living room.
Because they remind me of the new little life that is in this house, and the way he plays with his lion, his hippo, and his little baby dumbbells.

Today, I am thankful that I have not yet had a shower or put on real clothes.
Because this reminds me that we did not have to get up and go to therapy this morning - we got to hang out in our pajamas and play and read and sing and blog.

Luke's therapists have determined that we've done about all we can do for him as far as stretching soft tissue, muscle, skin, ligaments, tendons.  We made some pretty significant progress over the last three weeks, but the progress has plateaued, so all therapy is on hold until our next appointment with the orthopod.  I will confess that I've had so much anxiety and worry and fear and anger over this issue lately.  I saw a really cool kid's bike in Parenting  magazine and it sent me into a spiral of negativity.  Will Luke ever have a bike like that?  What if his left leg can't reach the ground?  

I've felt angry at the doctors for not knowing more, at the therapists for not doing more, and at myself for choosing to believe the lies in my head while ignoring the Truth and the vision I've been given. 

I've felt jealousy towards parents of "normal" kids, who don't have to go to therapy three days a week or specialists appointments an hour from home or wonder how their kid will bear weight to both legs or keep up with his friends.   

But today, I am thankful that Luke's tibia is crooked.
Because it reminds me to lean only on my God, my Healer, my Strength, for peace and comfort. 

2 comments:

  1. This is the perspective to have on life. Some days all the clutter, messes, dirty house and hair can make me feel like a failure when in fact it's a beautiful thing. I often need to remind myself the clean sink won't matter but leaving it behind to hold my babies will. So well said.
    Also, I emailed you at the email you left and it was returned as an error. email me at robynjfarmer@gmail.com

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  2. This is a good reminder for me. We started a sermon series at church titled messy, messy not in terms of the things we think that clutter our lives ie; dishes, clothes, toys, papers etc. but messy in terms of how we see ourselves as less because things are not perfect and how messy that causes our relationships to be with others and mostly with God. Enjoy your blogging. Sara K

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